The first thing Jensen notices when he wakes up is that the other side of his bed is empty. He’s almost worried, until he hears the water running in the shower. He smiles to himself as he imagines Jared's naked body. Water running all over him. And oh God, is that something worth missing? Of course not. Jensen slowly gets up from the bed and walks to the bathroom. He slips inside the shower and Jared jumps slightly.

"Wha-?" Then he sees Jensen and it’s like his whole face lights up as he smiles.

"Hey," Jensen whispers, he steps closer to Jared and wraps his arms around him.

"Good morning," Jared whispers back and leans to catch Jensen's lips with a kiss.

They play around for a minute or two until Jensen can clearly see there is something wrong in Jared's eyes. "Tell me?" he requests and slowly trails a finger over Jared's chest.

"Tell you what?" Jared asks.

"There's something wrong. Tell me what?" Jensen answers, he sees the moment of hesitation in Jared's eyes and he already knows.

"Sandy's coming back today," Jared says and Jensen looks away.

"You are going to talk to-" He's cut of by Jared's lips on his. Then Jared pulls away and smiles warmly.

"Jen, I promised you, didn’t I? I told you I'm gonna talk to her. It's just…it's hard. We’ve been a couple for more than five years. And I love her. It's not something that is easy for me to do." Jared explains.

"I know. I know. I'm just…" He cuts himself off and just stars at Jared. I'm afraid you’re gonna leave again. I'm afraid I'm gonna stay alone. "I love you" he finally says.

"I love you too," Jared replies and kisses him again.

The kiss is a lot more eager this time. Filled with so many unspoken words and they both get what the other is not saying. Jensen wraps his hand around Jared dick. He's stoking slowly and within seconds they are both rock hard. "Mm… Jen, wanna fuck you," Jared whispers into Jensen's ear.

"Fuck yeah. Want you to come inside me," Jensen says in a low tone. He's gotta make this one count. It could be the last. He buries his face in Jared's neck and kisses him softly there. Nibbling at Jared skin. Not to hard but still hard enough to remind Jared he's there. Incase he forgot.

Then Jared’s turning him around and reaching outside of the shower for the lube and condoms Jensen keeps in his bathroom drawer. He puts on the condom and slicks his fingers. He pushes one inside and Jensen moans loudly. "Love your fingers. Fucking love them," he says and pushes back, fucking himself on Jared finger. Jared then pushes in another one and Jensen shivers. By the time he pushes the third one in Jensen is getting more and more aroused. "Come on, Jay. Come on. m'ready," Jensen gasps.

"Yeah, yeah okay," Jared says and pulls his fingers out. He quickly slicks his cock and before Jensen can tell him to hurry up he pushes inside of him.

"Oh fuck," Jared whimpers. "You're tight. Shit. Love your tight ass." Jared stops when he's all the way in to give Jensen a minute to get used to him. He kisses the back of Jensen’s back . Soft tender kisses that Jensen fucking loves. And really? Jensen is so afraid. He wants to keep Jared inside of him. Forever. Never let him go. "Can I?" Jared asks and Jensen nods. Jared then pulls out until only the head of his cock is inside of him, and then thrusts back in. A loud moan escapes from Jensen mouth.

"FUCK. Oh god. Yesyesyes." He pushes back onto Jared's cock. Wanting to get Jared as deep as he can. Jared gets the message and pushes in harder. And then he finds Jensen prostate and Jensen's knees become jello. "Oh my God. Yeah, Jay. H-harder. Please?" he begs. Jared always makes him beg. He loves it.

"So beautiful," Jared whimpers. "So fucking sexy. Love your body. Love fucking you like this." Jensen feels his balls tighten and turns his head to the side to capture Jared's mouth with a kiss. The kiss is clumsy and the position is uncomfortable but Jensen has to. He has to taste Jared. To remember Jared's taste. Just in case. "Come on Jen. Come for me, baby. Want you to come for me," Jared says as he pulls away from the kiss and starts stroking Jensen's cock. And can a person really say no to Jared? No, no one. Especially not Jensen. He's coming hard and can barley hold himself straight. Jared's name on his lips. "Oh yeah. Love it. I love how you look when you come," Jared whispers in his ear and after a couple more times pushing inside he's coming too, with a loud moan of Jensen's name.

When Jared tries to pull out of him Jensen reaches his hand back to hold him still. "Just…can we stay like this for a minute?" he asks. Jared leans down and kisses the back of his neck in approval.

-

"Okay. Call me. The second it's over," Jensen says as he accompanies Jared to the door. They stop and Jared leans down to kiss him.

"I will," Jared promises. "I love you," Jared says.

"Me to baby," Jensen answers.

He's terrified. He can’t prevent himself from thinking about what is going happened if Jared decides to stay with her. What would he do?

_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_

It’s probably one of the hardest things he’s had to do. Right after what he had done when he’d walked out of Jensen's hotel room the last time. But he has to do it. Jensen is the man he loves. The one person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. He made the mistake of leaving him once. He's not going to do it again.

He spends two hours thinking about how he‘s going to do it. How do you say goodbye to a person you’ve know for that long?

Then he hears the front door unlocked and Sandy walks in.

"Hey baby!" She drops the bags on the floor and jumps on him. She tries to kiss him but he turns his head aside slightly. The smile that was on her face immediately comes off. "Jared?" Her tone is worried and all of a sudden everything he thought about saying is forgotten. He can't even speak.

"Come sit down," he finally manages to say and gestures toward the couch. She looks at him and then goes to sit down as he told her. He sits right besides her.

"I have no idea how to even say this but… I… t-the engagement…God." He can't even think of a simple sentence to use.

"Jared?" she says again and he can see the tears in her eyes. She knows him too well. "Jared. Talk to me… tell me what this is all about," she tells him.

"I want to call off the engagement. I'm sorry," he says. He is way too afraid to look at her but forces his eyes to focus on hers.

"W-what? What are you telling me? Jared, please don’t tell me you’re b-breaking us up?" she begs him and can't control the tears that are now slipping down.

"I'm so, so sorry Sandy. I… I just can't," he tries to explain.

"Why? Tell me why, Jared? Please?" And for a moment he actually considers staying. To kiss her and tell her to forget about everything that just happened. To go on and live the life he thought he was gonna have before he knew Jensen.

Jensen. He can't. No. Jensen is the one thing he can't live without. He can't leave him again. He won't.

And he decide he's gonna have to tell her the truth. "The last couple of years, I’ve been in another relationship," he says and he can see the pain in Sandy's eyes.

"What?!" she almost screams, but the tears make her voice chocked. "You…you cheated on me? Jared. Please tell me it wasn’t Jen-?" And then she stops. She looks at him and he nods slowly. "Oh my God," she whispers to herself.

"Sandy, I'm so, so-"

"Don’t," she cuts him off. "Just don’t. Don’t even try."

Sandy runs to their bedroom and he can hear her crying. He can imagine the way she’s probably running back though the last couple of years, trying to think about the signs that must’ve been there. Trying to think how she could have prevented this.

She couldn’t. No one could’ve. Not when the moment Jared had first met his co-star, his heart had started beating so hard he’d been sure everyone around him had heard it. Not when they’d first stared talking and Jared hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything besides the green eyes that were penetrating him.

Jensen. The only one. The man he was willing to do anything for. Be anyone for.

Sandy walks out of the bedroom an hour later. Her makeup smudged on her face, eyes red with tears and two large suitcases next to her.

"I… don’t know how to let you know how sorry I am," he tries to tell her. To look into her eyes.

"Do you love him?" she asks still not looking at him.

"Yes," he says quietly. She looks at him, for a mere second and then she's out the door.

_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

He waits for three hours next to the phone. It feels like three years. He's counting the seconds.

He blocks every bad thought that comes up. He won't sty with her. He loves you, he tells himself and tries really hard to actually believe it. Then the phone rings and his heart jumps in his chest.

"I did it. I'm coming over."

It takes Jared twenty minutes to arrive and the second Jensen hears the knock on the door he’s there to answer it.

Jared gets in and they sit on Jensen's couch for something like ten minutes until Jared opens his mouth to speak. "I'm a horrible person," Jared says, and Jensen wraps his arms around Jared in a hug.

"Stop it. You are not. You did what you had to do. It wasn’t fair to keep on lying to her," he says and hugs Jared tighter. "How'd she take it?" he asks.

"Bad. Worse than that. She was crying. I really hurt her. God. I'm a fucking asshole. I should have told her from the beginning. I should have just told her the second I realized I was in love with you," Jared answers and Jensen tugs Jared closer.

"I'm sorry," he whispers and their lips are so close that they share the same breath.

"Don't apologise. If someone need to, it's me. Sandy wasn’t the only one that suffered. I was an ass hole for making you live like that," Jared says and Jensen closes the gap between them and kisses Jared hard and deep.

"I don’t care. None of that matter now that you’re here. Now that you can actually stay for as long as we want," he says as he pulls back.

They walk into Jensen's bedroom and make love for hours. Until they’re both so sore that they can’t move. And as they lay beside one another they both say I love you for about a million times and still can’t get through just how much they actually do.

When Jared falls asleep Jensen looks at him. He smiles and can’t help the thought that he really doesn’t mind what’s going to happened as long as he knows that the guy that lays with him is his. And only his.